are a strange melon/cucumber relative originally from New Zealand. The
outside looks more like something from an 80s side-scroller than a
fruit, and the inside is even more bizarre. Usually when something is
that green, it is oozing out of a dead alien, and to be honest, isn’t
real. But they are. When I was a kid, the commissary (the grocery store
if you grew up on a military
base) had them once and I talked my mother into buying one. I then
spent 2 weeks staring at it, wondering if it was going to scream at me
and club me to death if I tried to cut it (it didn’t).
eventually sliced it open, and as is the case with most tropical
fruit, I decided I preferred apples. They are apparently pretty popular,
though and work okay in fruit salads.
9. Dragon Fruit
known as Pitaya, the dragon fruit lives up to its name in appearance.
From the outside, it looks like a decorative modern art flame, and on
the inside, well, that is what I figured a dragon
must look like on the inside. They originally come from Mexico and New
Mexico, but are pretty popular in the eastern world now and grown
heavily in the islands of Indonesia, up across South East Asia, in
Australia and even as far as Israel.
It is the
fruit of a cactus, and is described as having a very watermelon like
taste, despite looking like vanilla ice cream studded with dead fruit
durian. Alternately known as “The King of Fruit” and “The fruit that
smells like rotting garbage and onions.” My favorite description is
from Richard Sterling and quoted on Wikipedia as this:
“Its odor is best described as pig-sh*t, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. It can be smelled from yards away.”
same page also mentions that they have also been described as smelling
like civet, sewage, stale vomit, skunk spray and used surgical swabs.
Yum. Some people are absolutely in love with it, and apparently a
variety of animals including tigers can’t get enough of stale vomit
encased in a fruity hedgehog, but the people in Singapore seem to have
the right idea; the fruit is banned from all public transportation.
7. Buddha’s Hand
hand is a citrus fruit with little real “fruit” to it, being mostly
citron scented rind, in the form of awful looking yellow fingers. It is
easily the most horrible looking thing bearing the name “Buddha”
unless some sick bastard named a rotting carcass after Siddhartha.
don’t generally eat them, because of the lack of actual fruit in it,
but they use them to perfume rooms because they put out a pretty
powerful citrusy fragrance, however since their pith (the bitter white
part of the citrus peel) is actually not bitter, the “fingers” are
sometimes cut off and used in fish dishes or salads.
6. Passion Fruit
passion fruits aren’t exactly rare these days, they still kind of
freak me out, and they are odd looking. They are originally South
American and the skins have been shown to contain trace amounts of
cyanogenic glycosides, which is to say microscopic amounts of really
nasty poison, but then again so do apple seeds, so don’t sweat it.
are almost as psycho about passion fruit as they are durian, although
not smelling like a corpse suggests that they may be on to something.
Here’s a fun bit of trivia: Guess how the Passion Fruit got its name?
Well, before the fruit was named, the flower was called the “Passion
Flower”. Do the flower and fruit inspire lust? Do they keep couples
together through tough times? Or rather, did the flowers remind the
first Europeans to discover them think of Jesus being tortured (the
Passion)and named them after that? Hint, it had nothing to do with love.
5. Screw Pine
love anything where the name could get a kid in trouble for saying it
in school, which includes the word “screw” and anything that sounds
like “ass.” Screw pines also go by the more boring name of Pandanus…
okay, so “Panda anus” is a winner too. The fruit is used for everything
from dyes to food. Not the most exciting thing on the list, but it
certainly has the most fun name.
be honest with you; rambutan reminds me of a vegetarian testicle.
Sorry for that, but I aim for honesty in my writing and it looks like
some weird critter from Australia carries them around to make babies
and possibly drink from. It hails from Southeast Asia and is popular
for jams and jellies, and the mildly poisonous seeds are sometimes
roasted and eaten (roasting them apparently makes them safe
3. Akebia Quinata
fruit look like they are just as likely to eat you as you are it. The
sausage shaped pods are filled with edible goo that looks like it
should be bursting with flies, but they come from chocolate scented
flowers, which means they may not be half bad. The stem of the plant is
used as a diuretic because it contains 30% potassium salts, and New
Zealand has banned the sale of the plant because it is apparently a
virulent pest that likes to squeeze out competing flora.
are a hybrid made from Sugar Apples and Cherimoya. Much like the
durian, they look like you could shove it onto the end of a stick and
smite foes with them, but they are actually smooth and soft like the
sherimoya. They are described as tasting like a pina colada with
vanilla, which actually sounds quite delightful. Oh, and because nothing
tropical seems to be without a horrific dark side, the seeds are
inedible and poisonous. Also, the flowers have a weird behavior; from 2
to 4 PM, they are female, and on alternating days, from 3 to 5 they are
male. This fruit is a lot like Cillian Murphy in Peacock.
1. Snakeskin Fruit
fruit names are deceptive; Breadfruit tastes nothing like bread, and
road apples couldn’t look less like a road if they tried. (They taste awful,
too.) This one pretty much hits the nail on the head. I will take my
vegetable matter without disturbing scales, thank you very much.
Pinching the end of the fruit causes the skin to slough off, and the
pieces of fruit resemble garlic. The flavor is described as sweet and
acidic, that is if you can get past the fact that it looks like garlic
from the plant the lizard people in V came from